I’ve told this story before, but not in so much detail… Around 4 years ago, I was in the middle of a horrible time in my life… a time that spread over the course of many, many months and seemed as though it wouldn’t end. I had just experienced multiple back-to-back major losses and at least one tragic loss I felt personally responsible for, though logic insisted it was not my fault. On top of everything, The community had lost a school, one that I felt was my own, for which I had been the Principal, leaving absolutely no place like it for the kids who were the most troubled and in the most need. I truly wanted, with all my heart, to just give up. I caught myself imagining many different ways that I could accidentally, by no fault of my own, get killed…. on my way to work, the new business I had started with one of my best friends. I scared myself with my own death wish, especially since I had a beautiful, wonderful, amazing 2 year old daughter at home, my miracle baby. I knew I needed to do something radical to get myself out of the pit I was in. Like, building new neuronal brain pathways and snapping myself out of the stuck-ness radical. I knew the new thing, whatever it would be, would need to engage as many of my systems (mind, body, emotional, and spiritual) as possible. It needed to be something like Yoga, but with over 10x the intensity and fight. I needed to re-engage the fighter in me that had been there practically since birth, but had fallen dormant in the recent months.
Through all of that fog, I began to notice a “Brazilian Jiu Jitsu” gym within a mile of my office. At the time, I knew that BJJ was a martial art, and nothing else. I passed this gym every day, on my way both to and from work. Finally, in the middle of February, 2014, I arranged to walk in and try a class. I don’t know what I was expecting that first day. I remember I couldn’t make it through the warm-ups without having some kind of asthma attack. I remember being surprised that BJJ mostly consisted of rolling with
super sweaty dudes on the ground… I do NOT remember anymore what brought me back the next day, and the next, and the next… suffice it to say, BJJ impacted me, and I was, maybe instantaneously, addicted. It somehow had all of those pieces I needed to short circuit the shit that had been going on in my brain and get some re-wiring started. It rekindled the fighting fire in me. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu SAVED MY LIFE and continues to do so. That first day, when I walked through the door, desperate and alone, was exactly 4 years ago TODAY.
I’m sure it’s not a coincidence that I’m here, 4 years later, with the insane idea of flying to the PanAm IBJJF tournament to compete for the FIRST time. I can’t tell you exactly WHEN competing in BJJ got on my bucket list, but it’s definitely been there for awhile. I just didn’t think it would happen with the divisions the way they have been and my desire to remain major-injury free so I can be doing this for as long as humanly possible and beyond. I can’t put into words how honored I am to be a part of the movement to have Masters Women acknowledged as competitors in their own right by the IBJJF. I’ve already met some incredible women in this process, and we haven’t even shown up yet!
Accumulating over the past four years, it is impossible for me to list everyone who’s been inextricably involved in my training journey. Just know, if you’ve EVER rolled with me and maybe even taken the time to teach me a little bit of what you know, from the time I was awkward and annoying until now, when I’m a bit less so, I am indebted to you. Thank you, my family, I’ll always Love you!
Alyduck Flies Again 